Rant: The Martini

"Vodka martini, shaken, not stirred."

Ah, the fine, classic drink: the Martini. Simple, yet elegant. 3 Parts Gin. 1 Part Dry Vermouth, stirred over ice and strained into a chilled cocktail glass, served with a twist of lemon or several olives.

Where did we ever go wrong?

First, came James Bond and his Vodka martini. Fine fine, it wasn't his doing, but Smirnoff's, as they attempted to sell more vodka by trying to make vodka synonomous with Martinis. Not a problem. The Martini was still a clear liquor, with dry vermouth.

Then we entered into the Dry martini phase, where martinis became nothing but chilled vodka served in a vermouth washed glass, or no vermouth at all.

And that brings us to now, where any drink served in a cocktail glass is a martini. A Margarita served up is no longer simply that, but a "Margarita Martini." Flavors are out of this world. Apple, Peach, Melon. What is wrong with people!

At the club, we have a martini night with severly discounted martinis. We also have a 19 item martini menu that contains not a single "real" martini. All are variations of shots or regular cocktails.

And they are a bitch to make.

Almost all include 3-5 parts (unlike the classic martini's 2). A great majority include cordials or cream, making for a sticky sloppy mess in my tins. Some don't even include vodka (and not one includes gin)! Martinis with Captain Morgan or Malibu? What is the world coming to?

So tonite, enjoy my favorite version of a classic.

Classic Gin Martini:
2 oz Bombay Sapphire Gin
1/2 oz Dry Vermouth

Fill Shaker tin with ice. Pour in gin and vermouth. Stir using a barspoon until frost appears on outside of tin. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with 3 olives or a twist of lemon. Enjoy a return to simpler times, when men drank manly drinks.