Story: How to be a bad customer

I worked service bar tonite. If you haven't ready any of my previous posts, service bar sucks. Not only are you required to churn out every drink for the 3-6 servers (depending on time) you are also the first well people come to when entering the club.

I was weeded. See two posts down. I ended up ringing $2500 (300+ more than the day drawer). And I made a majority of the server drinks.

As the special ($2 Any Drink) comes to an end, the bar becomes nuts as every person tries to get in that last Goose and Cranberry (or what have you).

Tonite, I split equal time among customers and servers. I would take 3-6 customer orders and then crank out 5-10 server tickets. Well, apparently someone didn't like that.

When I'm working at this station, I go left to right, serving all of the customers at the bar and then making all of the server drinks that have stocked up on my printer. I started with a nice Indian (dot, not feather) man who wanted two margaritas and then proceeded down the line. Having taken care of the first round of patrons, I moved to server drinks. Suddenly, one of the Indian man's friends (or co-workers, or whatever) is waving his Coors Light bottle around like it is on fire.

I did what I always do. Ignore everyone (or, if they manage to make eye contact with me, give them the one second, I'll be right with you gesture). Well, this guy got increasingly belligerant. he was waving the bottle around and slamming it on the bar.

Finally, I had enough.

"Hold the fuck on. I'll get to you when I can!" came roaring out of my mouth. The man seemed aghast. Wait? What is that?

I manged to dig myself out of the server weeds and when I finally got to the man he asked for his check. Awesome. Get the fuck out of my bar. He left a $0 tip on a whopping $16.25 check.

Hey asshole, learn some manners. Wait your goddamn turn. And if it is so important for you to get a drink, have your friend order all of them when he is standing at the bar.

And honestly folks, don't seriously try to get a beer from the service bartender. His main job is to get the cute girls who you love to gawk at, their drinks.

Rant: Bartender Training

This past week, I've been asked by at least five people to teach them to bartender. I'd say half of them would never be able to cut it.

Alot of people say that bartending is easy, fast, big money. I would tend to agree with them. If you have that personality to deal with the ins and outs of the business.

I made over $350 on tuesday, working from 9pm-2am.

That is $70+ an hour. Who other than lawyers or chief executives make that kind of money.

However, bartending is not easy.

It requires you to be able to do a ridiculous amount of math in your head. It requires you to be able to serve every guest with the respect and a smile, regardless of how terribly the prick before them treated you. It requires you to be on your feet all the time (try working an 18 hour shift and tell me this is easy). It requires you to be able to handle the weeds (when you're 3 deep at the bar, your service tickets are backing up, the barback just broke a glass in your ice well, you're out of well vodka, captain morgan, and jagermeister, and the special is about to end).

To anyone who says being a bartender is easy, yes, you're right. Mixing drinks and serving them is not hard. Popping the top off of two Miller Lites takes not training.

To anyone who says being a great bartender is easy, I say fuck you. And I mean it, Fuck You! Until you've been surrounded by 100+ guests, all demanding your attention, all demanding alcohol, all drunk, and all beligerant and you've made it out with a cool head, you cannot call yourself a Great Bartender